Hey You yes You,
I wanted to tell you something.
1. You are unique- There is only you who is like you, no one else can do things the way you do things and that makes you special because its all you...That person is amazingly unique trust me when I tell you that the person I am speaking of is you...You are unique
2. You are beautiful- The way you walk, the way you talk, the way you tilt your head when you laugh, the way you present your opening statements in arguments, captivates my attention, I am totally in awe by you. Look at yourself in the mirror is that someone else peeking back at you? No its you, only you, summing it all up...you are beautiful.
3. You are talented- Those things that you do, like cooking and painting and singing and acting even motivating, no one else has your blend of talents...You are talented.
4. You are powerful- You may not know it but you have it. The ability to lead to be the master of your own destiny, the creator of your own universe, that energy that propels you, the potential that lies within you, only you can master it, only you can tame it, only you because...You are powerful.
5.You are you.....
Dear friend I wanted you to know that you are so very unique, so beautiful so talented and so very powerful. You have the capabilities to create the life that you want to live, to create the path that you want to follow, to create the person that you want to become. What is holding you back from bringing these desires and dreams to life? Only you..
Dream Big and Live it...
One Love
Danielle
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
TO GET HIM OR NOT TO GET HIM THAT IS THE QUESTION
Hey Guys,
It has been a very long time since I have written a blog. I have been so busy working and doing other things that my blogging has taken a secondary role. However, I am back and excited to write about my life experiences. This is all about navigating through my life and helping others navigate through theirs.
One of the problems that I had been faced with for a long time was finding a suitable mate. If I am going to be honest, I have tried church hopping, found nothing, internet dating and the list went on and on. I remember after my last break up a girlfriend of mine and I decided that we were going to stop looking, just have a good ole NYC time and hope that if it happens it happens. I remember how we talked at length that it is next to impossible to find someone of quality these days. However that did not stop us from verbalizing what we were looking for in a mate. Lets fast forward two years. I wonder what we found.
These were the things that I found that after they were addressed changed my outcome.
1. I wanted someone who did not represent me.
I fantasized about dating someone who represented "Corporate America". I assumed that a guy who worked in the corporate world looked good, would be well spoken and had the image that I could gladly show off to my female friends. Truth was, I did not and do not work in Corporate America. How did I intend to attract someone who I did not even interact with. Then I went on to the "I want to date a Caucasian" faze. Now do not get me wrong, I do embrace meeting new people and dating outside of my race but how did I intend to attract such a person when I am so immersed in black culture. What I wanted did not represent me.
2. I lacked self confidence.
This is turnoff number one for a guy. I cannot overemphasize this MEN HATE A SHY WOMAN ITS NOT CUTE. Not sure what it was but I was a mess every time I went on a date. Not sure what to eat or drink, being indecisive about everything. Insecure was always written on top of my forehead. I remember being on a date with someone that I had known for years, after awhile he got tired of my pretense and told me to just be myself.
3. Not being able to hold a conversation.
This is turn off number 1.5 because if you have nothing to say, he just thinks you lack intelligence and this calls for an immediate dismissal.
So I posed this question to men, mostly African Americans and I asked them, why do women African American in particular claim that they are finding it hard to find a good man. Two things stood out to me.
1. Attitude.
African American men believe that the "I'm a strong Black woman", syndrome is preventing us from finding love. A lot of us because of being raised in a single parent home have very negative images of men, one of them being, they abandoned us. Therefore we are constantly giving out the "I can do without you" energy. They believe that we are constantly dismissing them, speaking down to them and getting mouthy and physical is never far away.
2. We have lost the traditional roles of womanhood.
Wow!!!!!! This is a big big one. Listen, would it really hurt if you learn to cook? Like seriously. Women are natural nurturers, that is how we were created, therefore it is important that we learn how to cater to our significant other or future significant other.
Okay so I am not an expert on relationships neither can I teach someone how to get a man, but I do believe that what has been presented are very common among women. Tell me what do you think.
Love
Dan
It has been a very long time since I have written a blog. I have been so busy working and doing other things that my blogging has taken a secondary role. However, I am back and excited to write about my life experiences. This is all about navigating through my life and helping others navigate through theirs.
One of the problems that I had been faced with for a long time was finding a suitable mate. If I am going to be honest, I have tried church hopping, found nothing, internet dating and the list went on and on. I remember after my last break up a girlfriend of mine and I decided that we were going to stop looking, just have a good ole NYC time and hope that if it happens it happens. I remember how we talked at length that it is next to impossible to find someone of quality these days. However that did not stop us from verbalizing what we were looking for in a mate. Lets fast forward two years. I wonder what we found.
These were the things that I found that after they were addressed changed my outcome.
1. I wanted someone who did not represent me.
I fantasized about dating someone who represented "Corporate America". I assumed that a guy who worked in the corporate world looked good, would be well spoken and had the image that I could gladly show off to my female friends. Truth was, I did not and do not work in Corporate America. How did I intend to attract someone who I did not even interact with. Then I went on to the "I want to date a Caucasian" faze. Now do not get me wrong, I do embrace meeting new people and dating outside of my race but how did I intend to attract such a person when I am so immersed in black culture. What I wanted did not represent me.
2. I lacked self confidence.
This is turnoff number one for a guy. I cannot overemphasize this MEN HATE A SHY WOMAN ITS NOT CUTE. Not sure what it was but I was a mess every time I went on a date. Not sure what to eat or drink, being indecisive about everything. Insecure was always written on top of my forehead. I remember being on a date with someone that I had known for years, after awhile he got tired of my pretense and told me to just be myself.
3. Not being able to hold a conversation.
This is turn off number 1.5 because if you have nothing to say, he just thinks you lack intelligence and this calls for an immediate dismissal.
So I posed this question to men, mostly African Americans and I asked them, why do women African American in particular claim that they are finding it hard to find a good man. Two things stood out to me.
1. Attitude.
African American men believe that the "I'm a strong Black woman", syndrome is preventing us from finding love. A lot of us because of being raised in a single parent home have very negative images of men, one of them being, they abandoned us. Therefore we are constantly giving out the "I can do without you" energy. They believe that we are constantly dismissing them, speaking down to them and getting mouthy and physical is never far away.
2. We have lost the traditional roles of womanhood.
Wow!!!!!! This is a big big one. Listen, would it really hurt if you learn to cook? Like seriously. Women are natural nurturers, that is how we were created, therefore it is important that we learn how to cater to our significant other or future significant other.
Okay so I am not an expert on relationships neither can I teach someone how to get a man, but I do believe that what has been presented are very common among women. Tell me what do you think.
Love
Dan
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