This morning I woke up and realized that I am not good at sales, I hate trying to talk people into buying the products that I am selling and I am sorry that I got involved in this whole sales business in the first place. What continues to make me hold on is the idea that someone else has done it and is successful at it, why can't I do it as well. Its as simple as this, the dream belongs to someone else, not me. Let it go Danielle, give it up. You will be a success at doing what you love best.
I think most females grow up with a flawed perception of self. Often times it stems from us comparing ourselves to others and creating these ideas of who we are supposed to be, how we are supposed to act and live our lives.
I am sure that we have been told many times that we should never compare ourselves, and more or likely we repeat this to ourselves as well. However getting out of this habit is not as easy and as simple as saying it. Most times we do not even realize that us comparing ourselves is the core of our attitude, action and negative self talk.
How did I get to the point where I am constantly comparing myself? Hmmmm...... well I do remember at an early age being compared to other children my age, there was the ten year who was an avid reader and no doubt I was not; to the teenager who was very mature and dignified in her behavior. I was never up to the standard that I believed was set for me and I grew up feeling a little disappointed that I never quite measured up and I wanted to so badly.
Who Am I?
Who Am I?
Who Am I?
Is a question I think we should all ask ourselves over and over and try to be as true to ourselves as we possibly can be. It is very possible to lie to ourselves, and it is very likely that the dreams that we have are not our own but reflections of our parents and other peoples' desires. I think of my own drive to have a PhD and this has been a dream of mine ever since I have been in undergrad, now that I think about it, I wonder, do I really want this or am I thinking about what will make others see me in a different light and my parents extremely happy. Do not get me wrong, my parents are extremely proud of me and could not be happier with what I have accomplished so far in my life. However, there is always that nagging feeling that I should excel more academically.
I grew into self and I am continuing to grow into self. I now know that the love my parents have for me is unconditional and even if it was not, I am my own individual so I have to do what makes me happy. I also think because we have so may perceptions and ideas in our head, we are not always clear on what will bring us joy. I had to learn how to allow myself to be me and to love and accept that. When I decided to comfortably remove my shell not just for my closest friends to see but everyone, it was amazing how people loved me for me. I am not saying that you being comfortable with self should be based on people's opinion of you, but for me it was a wake up call that hey I can be me and me is way cooler.
In the bible it tells us that we are uniquely made that means that we are our own individuals and not someone else. It is important for us to realize that our path is going to be very different from that of someone else. We cannot expect that our girlfriends success is going to be or should be ours as well. Each individual is born with a God given talent which should be recognized and utilized. I firmly believe that as children of God we are exactly where we are supposed to be and our current situation should be used as a learning tool to move forward. We all make mistakes in our lives, but we should use these mistakes to grow and be molded into character. Never should we allow ourselves to regret the past so much that it hinders us from moving forward. That being said, why are we using other peoples lives to evaluate our own? Why do we constantly bombard ourselves with dreams that are not our own?
How do we break free is a question that I am still working on finding out, I wish I had all the answers but I write as I learn and grow. Being clear on who we are is the first step. Take some time and determine who you are in the eyes of you and not someone else. Make a list of your dreams and be very clear about why these are your dreams. Is there a childhood idea of who you were or are supposed to be that is at the core of this dream? Negative self talk come in many different forms and sometimes it comes in the way we dream but we do not realize it because we believe we are simply being ambitious.
What is your idea of success? If you could wake up tomorrow and be successful, how would you define that, what would it look like. Well for most of us, success means being highly educated and being paid a lot of money for it. But is this really what your reality should be? Will this make you truly happy? Honestly think about this question and take some time to ponder it before answering it.
You have to find a way to let go of the perceptions of who you are and should be and move forward with confidence with who you truly are and who you genuinely want to be in life. Become more aware of your feelings, your surroundings but most importantly be very very aware of your thoughts.
Psalm 139:14 states, "I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made."
One Love
Dan
