FINDING SELF

This morning I woke up and realized that I am not good at sales, I hate trying to talk people into buying the products that I am selling and I am sorry that I got involved in this whole sales business in the first place. What continues to make me hold on is the idea that someone else has done it and is successful at it, why can't I do it as well. Its as simple as this, the dream belongs to someone else, not me. Let it go Danielle, give it up. You will be a success at doing what you love best.

I think most females grow up with a flawed perception of self. Often times it stems from us comparing ourselves to others and creating these ideas of who we are supposed to be, how we are supposed to act and live our lives.

I am sure that we have been told many times that we should never compare ourselves, and more or likely we repeat this to ourselves as well. However getting out of this habit is not as easy and as simple as saying it. Most times we do not even realize that us comparing ourselves is the core of our attitude, action and negative self talk.

How did I get to the point where I am constantly comparing myself? Hmmmm...... well I do remember at an early age being compared to other children my age, there was the ten year who was an avid reader and no doubt I was not; to the teenager who was very mature and dignified in her behavior. I was never up to the standard that I believed was set for me and I grew up feeling a little disappointed that I never quite measured up and I wanted to so badly.

Who Am I?

Who Am I?

Who Am I?

Is a question I think we should all ask ourselves over and over and try to be as true to ourselves as we possibly can be. It is very possible to lie to ourselves, and it is very likely that the dreams that we have are not our own but reflections of our parents and other peoples' desires. I think of my own drive to have a PhD and this has been a dream of mine ever since I have been in undergrad, now that I think about it, I wonder, do I really want this or am I thinking about what will make others see me in a different light and my parents extremely happy. Do not get me wrong, my parents are extremely proud of me and could not be happier with what I have accomplished so far in my life. However, there is always that nagging feeling that I should excel more academically.

I grew into self and I am continuing to grow into self. I now know that the love my parents have for me is unconditional and even if it was not, I am my own individual so I have to do what makes me happy. I also think because we have so may perceptions and ideas in our head, we are not always clear on what will bring us joy. I had to learn how to allow myself to be me and to love and accept that. When I decided to comfortably remove my shell not just for my closest friends to see but everyone, it was amazing how people loved me for me. I am not saying that you being comfortable with self should be based on people's opinion of you, but for me it was a wake up call that hey I can be me and me is way cooler.

In the bible it tells us that we are uniquely made that means that we are our own individuals and not someone else. It is important for us to realize that our path is going to be very different from that of someone else. We cannot expect that our girlfriends success is going to be or should be ours as well. Each individual is born with a God given talent which should be recognized and utilized. I firmly believe that as children of God we are exactly where we are supposed to be and our current situation should be used as a learning tool to move forward. We all make mistakes in our lives, but we should use these mistakes to grow and be molded into character. Never should we allow ourselves to regret the past so much that it hinders us from moving forward. That being said, why are we using other peoples lives to evaluate our own? Why do we constantly bombard ourselves with dreams that are not our own?

How do we break free is a question that I am still working on finding out, I wish I had all the answers but I write as I learn and grow. Being clear on who we are is the first step. Take some time and determine who you are in the eyes of you and not someone else. Make a list of your dreams and be very clear about why these are your dreams. Is there a childhood idea of who you were or are supposed to be that is at the core of this dream? Negative self talk come in many different forms and sometimes it comes in the way we dream but we do not realize it because we believe we are simply being ambitious.

What is your idea of success? If you could wake up tomorrow and be successful, how would you define that, what would it look like. Well for most of us, success means being highly educated and being paid a lot of money for it. But is this really what your reality should be? Will this make you truly happy? Honestly think about this question and take some time to ponder it before answering it.

You have to find a way to let go of the perceptions of who you are and should be and move forward with confidence with who you truly are and who you genuinely want to be in life. Become more aware of your feelings, your surroundings but most importantly be very very aware of your thoughts.

Psalm 139:14 states, "I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

One Love

Dan

He Did it Again...

Today he pushed me and I told myself, he won't do it again.

Today he hit me but he apologized so I know he won't do it again.

Today he spoke down to me but thats not that bad, I was wrong anyway.

Today he kicked me so today was just a regular day.

Tomorrow he will change is what I often say.

Please change him Lord is the prayer I often pray.

Today I thought of moving out, but instead I decided to stay.

Today he murdered me now cold in clay I lay...

By Danni Dee

lets stop abuse now.......

One Love

Resolutions- you made them, did you break them?

If you happen to live in NYC then you can testify to the beautiful summer weather that we have been receiving. It's time to bring out the barbecue grill and have a great time a time for drop tops, long hot summer nights and summer love.

I love the summer, thats partly due to the fact that I am from a tropical island. As this hemisphere inches closer to the sun I can't help but wonder if we are indeed keeping our new years resolutions. This time of the year for me is a time for reflection. What were the goals that I gave myself at the beginning of the year? Are my daily activities in alignment with my long term and my short term goals?

I too subscribe to the school of thought that if you want something badly enough then you will eventually get it, because you will work hard enough to attain it. I believe the real question is "what do I want and do I really want it badly?" For example, when I lived back in the Caribbean my dream was to be educated in the US, there was nothing that was going to stop me from accomplishing my dream and I did it. As I grew older and got closer to seeing my dream materialize, my confidence began to wane, I became more complacent.

Becoming extraordinary is an art, but it does not come easily. People who are extraordinary are people who are driven, they are confident and they work at their goals in a very aggressive way. People who accomplish their goals, plan the steps needed to be taken to get there. Then their actions reflect their goals. Do not sit, say you want something and not move towards it. You have to move in order to get what you want. Movement is a key component in keeping us alive.

Prioritize, you have to make your goals a priority in your life. You live it daily, you work towards it you put away anything that will thwart you from accomplishing it. One thing that I have noticed is that some people do not set goals. They are uncomfortable and unhappy in their present situation, and often times complain about it, but they are not clear about why they are unhappy so they are not clear about the goals that they want to set and they have nothing to work towards. I do believe that if your purpose is not clear, then you will not know what route to take to get there.

Clean out your physical space. I honestly do not know how some people do it, but it is almost impossible for me to function in clutter. I become so flustered when there is too much going on around me. After cleaning out your physical space you will see the change in how much better you are able to function. Clean out your mental space. I cannot overemphasize how important it is to limit your conversations with people who cannot uplift you. Those negative friends of yours, get rid of them. Surround yourself with positive people, writings, DVDs. In other words, feed yourself.

Get information. So you want to accomplish this dream but you are not sure how you can get to that point. If you know someone who did it, ask them what were the steps they took to get there. The internet is readily available to everyone, research, do your home work. You cannot move forward if you do not have the proper information.

Make a list, get in the habit of writing, write your goals and have them in a place where they are visible. This makes reflection and evaluation that much easier.

Listen. Living in a big city like NYC our thoughts are drowned out by constant noise. Many of us speak but do we really take the time to listen to ourselves. We have ipods that blast music in our ears, but do we really take the time to listen to what our bodies are telling us? Find a quiet place where you can sit and reflect and listen, you will be surprised what God wants to tell you.

Feed yourself. I briefly touched on that earlier but are you really feeding yourself the right things? First take a good look at what is on your ipod. You know you listen to it every single day... Are the songs and the movies uplifting? When you go home and you watch reality TV and daydream about these people's reality, is this helping you to be one step closer to shaping your own reality?

There is no one who is not able to live their dream, fear is what often times hold us back from being magnificent. Get up, stand up and go be magnificent....

One Love

Dan

The Recipe to Die For

Last week I was saddened by the sudden passing of my next door neighbor. He was only 29 years old and died from complications due to diabetes. What made his passing even worse was that he left behind a wife and an unborn child. One cannot imagine what she is going through right now, unless you have experienced it, its unfathomable pain.

Amid the sadness of the loss of another young life, the public health professional in me could not help thinking about the prevalence and incidence of diabetes cases in the minority communities. It is not hard to notice the lack of health food stores, fruit and vegetable stands in our communities. It is also not uncommon to see a new fast food restaurant opening its doors to serve those that are of low income and minorities. Is it really my problem that many young people suffer from diet related illnesses like obesity and diabetes? Should I really be concerned that many people are dying from heart attack and stroke and the age of those dying from heart related illnesses are getting younger in the African American community? Or should I just turn a blind eye to the fact that most people take the escalator instead of the stairs? I cannot turn a blind eye, I refuse to not say something and ultimately do something about it.

You are what you eat. Many of us have heard that said many times, but we fall victims to the appetite. Listen, I absolutely love to cook, would whip up some ackee and saltfish in a minute (Jamaican food), but being raised by parents who were very health conscious, I learnt from very early to set boundaries with food and that diet and exercise were very important. So where do we go from here? I think it is time for us to become more aware of what we are feeding as fuel to our bodies. Our bodies are our responsibilities and the trends that are common among the poor and minorities can be stopped but it takes each individual becoming more conscious of our bodies, what is healthy and what is not. So many times, fast food chains become our dinner tables and our only serving of vegetables for the day came from the broccoli and chicken at the Chinese restaurant around the corner. If you happen to live in an Urban neighborhood like NYC you know exactly what I mean. It is time to make our health our priority, it is time to begin eating right, getting the sufficient amount of water needed and making exercise our priority. I think many of us missed the mark when we decided to loose weight just to look slimmer or skinny. The issue is not about being skinny, its about being healthy. Do not focus on one illness, do not try to avoid getting a stroke or diabetes or lowering our cholesterol, all these things will fall in place if we decide to take care of our bodies. Living a holistic lifestyle will reflect not only in our physical appearance but also improves our mental health and will ultimately lead to a healthier happier you.

So before you fry that chicken in oil, that will only lead to clogging your arteries, and severe acne breakouts, try placing it in the oven. Before you spend $20 on one meal at a fast food joint, why not bake some potatoes, steam some veggies and bake some fish, easy fixes and way more healthy.

I hope I am reaching someone, I cannot sit here and watch my friends, loved ones, neighbors die from diet related diseases. My own cousin died from colon cancer and was severely obese. I cannot emphasize this more. Begin taking responsibility for the lifestyle choices that you make. Think twice before eating that bacon egg and cheese on a roll, or those fries. Think twice before we feed it to our children and then stand over their graves, think twice about that coffee that you are addicted to, think twice about those toasted bagel with creamed cheese or butter. Think twice before walking pass that water cooler, think twice before drinking that soda think twice before taking the elevator or escalator. Thinking twice will prolong your life.

One Love Always

Danni

Im Happy

Today I wanted to write to wish all my followers and supporters a happy new year. I know many people made resolutions this year, hopefully the good ones will be kept. To be honest I am not a resolution person so none of that for me. But there are a few things that I have been working on that I hope will get better this year. This year I hope to get even closer to God. I am seeing how He has been working wonders in my life, it is truly amazing. The more I think about it the more I am in awe of it and the more I want to share it with others. Please hit me up and tell me about your resolutions and how you intend to stay on track.

Before I leave I want to encourage you to never give up on your dreams, to stay positive and eliminate those who take pleasure in dragging you down. Encourage positive attitudes and behaviors in your life and allow your positive personality to glow from you. Recite this every morning " I can, I will, I won't take no for an answer" and believe that with all your heart. Eliminate idle chatter and negative thoughts from your life; focus, remembering always that your dreams are a WORK HARD away. Every individual has the ability to do amazing things, but first you have to realize the God given talents that you have, and you have to embrace them. Believing in self and knowing your self worth is of utmost importance in self growth. More than anything RELAX, GODS IN CHARGE. He is the creator, if you allow Him, He will never lead you astray because He knows whats best.

Please leave me a response even if its short so I know you were here

One Love Always

Danni

Single is the New Finding Me

There was a time in my life when I thought that for me to experience true happiness, I had to be in a relationship then that person would make me happy. Such a sad thought don't you think. I remember when I just started dating my boyfriend I would never refer to him by name to my girlfriends, I always referred to him as "my boyfriend". A true obsession. But then I got a reality check, being in a relationship does not make someone happy, instead you are to take your happiness with you into the relationship to enhance it.

If you are single, I say to you embrace it. I'm sure being married and having children is a gift from God, however, if you do not have that special someone in your life, do not feel as if you are lacking. Take your time being single as a time to grow into character, to truly understand what you love, enjoy "me" time, and spend quality time with friends.

People are attracted to personality and self confidence. Interestingly enough these are attributes that can easily be seen, without you even uttering a word. Work on the inside, make yourself happy. What do you truly love or enjoy, do you love going out to dinner? Then go out, drag one of your friends along with you, mix, mingle, embrace your singleness. Take a drive out to the country, explore things you have never done before. There are many things that require money to do them, and there are things that are inexpensive and even free. If you happen to be in NYC go hang out in Union Square in the summer time or Central Park. One of the things I used to do was I would go out to dinner with a friend of mine every Thursday night or go to the Promenade downtown Brooklyn (love it) something else that I really enjoy doing is sitting in Barnes and Nobles and reading.

Do not focus on the fact that you are single. Listen I get it all the time "so where is the ring?" Well don't get upset, most people do not mean anything by it. Give them a generic answer like "God knows best" and keep it moving. Take the time to improve on your talents or create new ones. My plan for this winter is to teach myself the violin (we'll see about that). So as this Christmas comes around I will be learning more about Danielle, challenging myself to take on new tasks, and loving myself a lot more. Well until we chat, I will be either shopping, window shopping or trying out new makeup brands. Or, WRITING A PAPER.....

One Love
Danni

Beauty that is Skin Deep

Due to the fact that I am in the business of beauty I wanted to do a blog about skin care. The first half of the blog I will be talking about different types of skin which is important for both males and females to know and the other portion of the blog will be for females who wear foundation.

People generally have four types of skin; oily, dry, normal and combination
These are the characteristics of the four:
Oily- Oily skin as the name implies looks shine or greasy or oily all the time. It is usually blemished prone and usually has very large pores.
Dry- Dry skin tends to be dry all the time, has very small pores and tends to require more moisturizing. Wrinkles are quick to form on dry skin.
Normal- Normal skin looks health, has a balance in moisture, does not appear to be blemish prone, neither does it appear over dry.
Combination- Of all the different skin types this is the one that tends to be overlooked or misunderstood. Combination skin gets oily in the forehead and nose and chin regions, so these portions may have more clogged pores and be blemish prone. However, the other parts of the face will be normal skin.

It is important to be able to identify your skin type so you will have an idea of what type of products to use on your skin. Your daily skincare routine should involve cleansing your skin, exfoliate your skin and moisturizing. It is also important that you use sunblock to protect your skin from sun damage. Many people who live in areas that experience seasonal changes like myself have to take into consideration that your skin may change due to the season. For example in the winter I have dry skin, summer, combination.

If you require any information on suitable products for your skin type or if you want me to give you a facial and a skin evaluation, please leave me a comment with your questions or give me a call.


FOR THE LADIES:

Most of us love makeup. It enhances our beauty and makes up feel a little more confident about ourselves sometimes. Foundation can be good but not all types of foundations are for your skin. Know the differences and choose the one that is best suited for you. I am going to discuss the three most popular types of foundations.

Liquid Foundation - This is one of the more popular foundations. These foundations have a liquid consistency and are usually in a tube and can be applied with the fingers. These foundations are good for people who are looking for a very natural look because it does not appear heavy on the skin. Not good for blemish prone skin.

CREME - This foundation is probably the most popular foundation. It has a creamy texture and usually requires a sponge for application. It gives way more coverage than a liquid foundation. I personally do not recommend this for people who live in very warm climates and those with oily skin. This foundation can prevent your skin from breathing and will cause you to sweat a lot, again not good for blemish prone skin.

MINERAL POWDER- Highly recommended, this contains minerals and vitamins that are very healthy for the skin. This is a loose powder that you can apply with a brush. Though I do not recommend using foundation if you have blemish prone skin, if you are willing to take a chance, then this would be the best foundation for you.

HOW DO I KNOW THE RIGHT FOUNDATION COLOR

The best way to choose the color that is right for you is by conducting a stripe test in a well lit area. The best part of the body to perform this test would be on your neck. Especially in dark skin women, the back of the face and neck tend to be darker. What you want is a foundation that blends in well with the back of your face towards the ear and the neck.

These are just a few tips to consider when choosing your foundation. I have many tips that I can share with you regarding beauty and skincare that I could not share in this blog. However, feel free to email me or leave me a question in the comment portion of this blog or hit me up on facebook and I would love to answer your question. Do not forget, I am a beauty consultant with Marykay cosmetics so feel free to ask about my products and services such as facials and skincare classes.

One Love