FIRST FIVE STEPS TO EXCELLENCE

THE SECRET

Yesterday while studying for my last exam I paused to watch a youtube video about "the secret". For a while I have been studying people who have moved their lives from living without to living in abundance. And I have toyed with many ideas and dabbled in a couple of things. I have now come to realize that my failures and successes where merely reflections of my thoughts and ideas. I will give an example of my highs and lows and how my state of mind, my drive and my desires determined my outcome. 

In 2000, I had a very brilliant idea, I wanted to study in the US. My parents knowing what my desires were, didn't really discourage me but quiet frankly did not believe that it would eventually come to fruition. What I had was tunnel vision, I knew in my heart this was what I wanted and I desired it so much that in 2004, I enrolled in college in the US. Three years later I graduated with a 3.5 GPA. And to top it all off, I graduated loan free. But in 2008 when I began graduate school, the scenario was very different. I was feeling sorry for myself. I had just lost the job that I thoroughly enjoyed. Eventually it got so bad that I ended up taking two and a half years off from school. Whenever I look back at my life back them, it was as if I expected the scenario to play out the way it did, and guess what, it really did. We are the sum of our thoughts and the life that we live and the blessings that we acquire are all reflective of the thoughts that we think.

So what is "the secret"? The secret is a principle which teaches that we are not victims but we are the masters of our own destiny. We can make our lives change simply but changing our thoughts. And that living in abundance is merely a reflection of us believing that we truly deserve abundance. When I gave myself the excuse that dropping out of graduate school was an option, I dropped out. The same principle applies for so many things in our lives. If you want a husband, a wife, true love, a better job, great health, then you have to claim it. You have to desire it so much that there is no other option but to have it. Have tunnel vision, there is  no plan B because plan A is the only option. 

So how does this apply to the bible. Well most philosophers who speak on "the secret" speak about the universe giving us our desires. But whenever I read the bible, it opens to me the very same laws and principles that if applied will allow us to live in abundance. For example, Hebrews 11 vs 1 says, that "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidences of things not seen". Isn't that the same principle? If we truly believe that we deserve something, and we truly trust in God's ability to bless us with what we desire, there is nothing that we cannot accomplish. 

So my friends, here I am writing to inspire and motivate, but most importantly, I am taking the step to moving above and beyond. 

One Love

Danni

FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF

So I know I always take these long blog breaks. Thanks for always waiting whenever I get back my most beloved and loyal fans.

There is something that I really need to address with my ladies. First let me explain what I do for a living. I am a skincare and beauty consultant. I meet my clients mostly by going through my everyday life. I offer them a skincare consultation (which is free) and I teach them how to take care of their skin. One of the most common problems I find, is women telling me (with a smile on their faces) that they are low maintenance. What is there to smile about with that?

Ladies, ladies, ladies and especially those women who are seeking a significant other, there is a big problem with telling yourself that you are low maintenance. Because, just you telling yourself that sets the tone for how you will treat yourself. The way you dress, the way you wear your makeup ( and yes even Hally Berry needs some Revlon) everything will determine how you are treated and is telling of how highly you think of yourself.

Whenever I meet a woman who is proud of telling me she is "low maintenance" this is what I see, a woman who is screaming for me to assist her in falling in love with herself.

I don't always feel sexy and beautiful, but I have developed habits that dispel these feelings whenever they come around.

1. Take your skincare regimen seriously. Develop a skincare regimen and take the time to actively go through the routine on a daily basis. It's not only great for your skin but that "me time" is important to just focus on yourself and your needs. As you begin seeing your skin respond positively, you will feel more beautiful. Especially moms who are always busy with the little ones, "me time" should never be taken for granted. 
2. Get matching pairs of undies. So I know this sounds silly, but just getting that matching panty and bra set makes you feel so sexy on the inside and it really shows on the outside. I have found that whenever I feel confident regardless of how I look, I am always noticed. 
3. Tell yourself that you are being noticed. If you go through your day telling yourself that no one notices you, trust me, no one will notice you. I always tell myself that I am a show stopper and all eyes are on me whenever I walk down the street. I am always confident that someone is watching me with admiration. And whenever I tell myself that, its usually the case.
4. Put a little makeup on. Get yourself a personal beauty consultant or visit a beauty store and get the right foundation and blush (never forget to blush), and a mascara for your face. I always say, " a little blush on the face, keeps radiance in place". I use a bronzer as a blush and I absolutely love it.
5. You hair is so your beauty. (this is where I tend to drop the ball) It is so important to make sure that your hair is on point at all times. It just makes you look and feel beautiful. 
6. Exercise, I really need to take my work out regimen to another level. Size, weight, dieting is such a very sensitive issue. Ladies, exercise is important first and foremost to keep you healthy, not to loose weight. Which ties into living a holistic lifestyle. Its so important to become more conscious of what you eat and how you eat. Interestingly enough when you begin putting your best foot forward, you begin feeling good about your overall self. 
7. Find someone whose style you admire, maybe a celebrity or follow a fashion blog and get ideas on how to mix and match your outfits. Begin dressing the part of someone who knows and feels confident and comfortable in their own skin. Overtime, you will become that person.  

These are just a few of the things that I have done to raise my self confidence that have taken me from "feeling like I'm low maintenance" to "knowing that I am high maintenance" type of chick.

One Love
Danni

WHY AM I NOT LIVING IN ABUNDANCE?????

Hey Guys,

This morning for my devotional exercise, I watched a sermon online. The preacher was DeVon Franklin whose sermon was based on getting a breakthrough from God. DeVon Franklin is currently engaged to Meagan Good. Shortly after watching this sermon, I got a call from one of my girlfriend's and we begun conversing about living life in abundance. Now there are many ways to define living in abundance. Many people would say, living in abundance is having wealth to do whatever you want, others may say, living in abundance is having a thriving relationship with God. For me living in abundance is reaching your full potential. I believe when you have cultivated a relationship with God where you allow Him to lead your life, then He will bless you. Here are some faithless facts that I believe are keeping us from truly living in abundance.

Faithless Fact 1. We do not believe in ourselves.

I spend a lot of time, researching people who are successful and one thing I find common among them is their belief in what they have put their hearts and minds to. As a result of that belief, they become energized and mobilized to making their accomplishment work. We are all created with a great mind and with the ability to do great things with our lives, but often times we do not have the faith within ourselves. Wow, faith another word with roots in the bible. For God to truly bless us, we have to show Him that we have the confidence to move and get the job done. I do believe a lot of us, myself included places various limitations on ourselves that prevent us from being propelled forward. Many of us do not set high goals for ourselves partly because we do not have the faith that we are capable of attaining it. 

Faithless Fact 2. We do not feed ourselves properly.

We are what we eat. I am not talking about what you physically eat, but what you feed your minds. How many of us spend so much time watching shows on TV and perusing the internet, but find little or no time to read an uplifting book, something of worth that will make us mentally strong. Housewives, Love and Hip Hop and the other reality shows have become such constants in our lives that we spend many hours discussing them with our  friends and thinking about them. We need to begin molding our minds with information that will help us grow into the person we want to become. 

Faithless Fact 3. We do not listen.

There are so many things in our lives that are geared towards attracting our attention. Many of us cannot really identify what we truly enjoy doing when we are alone by ourselves. That is because we are rarely alone by ourselves. We need to take time to go to a quiet place, without the phone and other tech devices and be one on one with nature. Sit still and listen. Being still brings clarity, it allows our creative juices to begin flowing. I was listening to an interview with Jada Smith and one of the things she does is spend time meditating in the morning. There is nothing more relaxing to me than getting up early in the morning before dawn, having my devotion and keeping still and listen to God. Many times I hear His voice very clearly and profoundly. 

Faithless Fact 4. We do not want to get rid of old stuff. 

How many of us want more, but are not willing to let go. I am talking about clutter, emotional and physical clutter. We hold on to so much baggage. Boyfriend who broke our hearts, parents who were not there. Listen, forgiveness is not for the forgiven its therapy for the forgiver. Let the baggage go. Another thing is hoarding stuff in our homes that is causing clutter. Have you not realized that you cannot be clear in a messy home environment. Not because it was your first purchase means that you have to hold on to it. You will NEVER become clear, until you have cleared out both the emotional baggage that you carry along with you and the personal items that are old and taking up space in your home. God cannot bless you if you are holding on to clutter.

There are so many other interesting Faithless facts that I will be sharing in my next blog. Until then, "walk good." If you are into fashion, check out my friend's blog at http://www.sodeleciaesque.com/ .

One Love

Danni

MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT

Four years ago fear and sadness kissed upon my heart as it became apparent that I was on the verge of being single again. There are those times in your life when you know the inevitable is upon you but your deepest desires are drawn to the things you cannot have. In my case I wanted something that I should not have.

Throughout my dating days there were many guys that showed great interest but the feelings were never returned. In reflecting on my past I can clearly state that I was good at passing up quality for quantity, which was evident in the negative choices that I made. My thirst for companionship was readily quenched by good looks, slick words and a nice car. They won me over many times. Four years ago, Jay was the lucky charmer and I was the good girl wanna be gone bad with the fierce Mohawk and Jesus in my heart. Jays lifestyle appealed to me, but I still played it safe, after all, I was a Christian. Many of Jay's actions were inconsistent with the loving words he would whisper to me. I never met his friends, didn't know his family, could not get through to him on his cell phone at certain times of the day. You would think that was enough for me to call it quits. The periods of sadness that he caused were easily forgotten when he whispered sweet nothings into my ear.

I know this statement is cliche but as women we need to fall in love with ourselves. And by falling in love with ourselves I do not mean pampering yourself. But loving yourself is a deeper inward inspection of who you are. What are the belief systems that you have, what are the things that bring you joy? Also of equal importance are what are the things that make you unhappy or mad? Knowing these things on a very intimate level will allow you to set a certain standard, your personal code of ethic. Men do it to us all the time. They are very much in touch with what they do and do not want and they usually make it very clear to us, but often times we are overcome by the fear of being alone, that we fall in love with the perception of who we want him to be. For example, Jay's behavior was a far stretch from what I would have wanted, but I settled with the hope that he is sometimes good and could potentially change.

Live up to your personal code of ethics. If you fail to do this, you are guaranteeing yourself unhappiness. So often we as women have a list of things that we say are "must haves" in the person that we are looking for, but "Mr. Smooth," always wins us over. Why is that so? We do not respect our ethical code and choose to become blind when the opposite of what we are looking for steps through the door. Knowing yourself intimately allows us to know when we have found a great guy who is a keeper. Sometimes it is important to make a list and have them in ranking order from most to least important. For example, if level of education is very important to you, do not choose someone who lacks this quality because he has another quality that you like. Eventually his level of education will become a distraction and will hinder the growth of your relationship.

So many times we find ourselves in relations with people who are a far cry from what we really want. It is true that we sometimes have very unrealistic expectations that we are bringing along with us from childhood. These can prevent us from recognizing when the right person comes our way. However, if we embark on the journey to knowing ourselves on a more intimate level, reevaluate our belief system, set and stand by our standards, we will be on the path to finding the person who is truly meant to be our soul mate.

One Love

Danni

NICKI MINAJ DECODED...

Recently I watched a documentary on Nicki Minaj. Many of the kids that I worked with seemed to be fascinated with her, so I made it my duty to find out more about this "Nicki Minaj". I am a little older now so its becoming increasingly hard for me to relate to the music of today, however, I learned a lot from this documentary. From Nicki Minaj's story, which is so very common among the successful, there are very important lessons that can be learned.

I will not be going into her history but what this young woman has been able to do is create a niche for herself and has found much success doing so. I admire her, and so many others who have found success, because of their work ethic. My SHEROE is someone who is very clear on what she wants, the tasks that she wants to accomplish and sets out to accomplish them with dedication, diligence and aggression. The fear of failure never hinders these women, they seem to keep on going until success is theirs. There are many women that have these traits that I cannot help but adore, First Lady Michelle Obama and Oprah are just a few. 

Here are some of the lessons that I have learned from these successful women:

1. Set your values and standards- Successful women live by the standards that they have set for themselves. Your standards are personal contracts that you have signed with yourself. These contracts should never be breached. It is important to have a set of standards and principles that you stand and live by, if not then anything goes with you.
2. Be Dedicated- My parents would always say that whatever is worth doing is worth doing well. It is important that whatever you are doing you put your best energies into it, no matter what it is. If you are a student, be the best student, if you are an employee be the best employee.
3. Stay Motivated- There are going to be times when you do not have the desire to continue, especially when things may not seem as if they are going in your favor. I tend to get to that point very easily and throwing in the towels tend to come soon after. During these down times plug into someone who is successful, someone who is at the point where you want to be. Read the biography of a successful person. Get yourself a mentor, they can serve as a good source of motivation and can give you great advise on how to get to where you want to go. 
4. Lead and not follow- There is a car commercial that states "hes a leader in his class". You have to become a leader and not allow yourself to be impressionable. Not just any leader but a positive leader and influence to others.
5.  Become competent- Being competent is knowing your craft and excelling at it. A competent person knows they do not know everything in their area of interest but is always on the search for more knowledge to better themselves and improve their craft.
6. Be a person of your word.- I hate breaking the promises that  I make to others. Not keeping your word sends a very bad message, it means that you cannot be trusted and people do not have confidence in what you say.
7. Listen before you speak- There is a reason we have two ears and one mouth, it means we need to listen twice as much as we speak. You have to be open to what others are saying without putting up a resistance or being argumentative. 

 This list can get lengthy and over time I will reveal more of what I have learned from people who have been able to find success. Instituting these principles will put you on a path that will change your work ethic.

One Love
Danni

HIGH END BUT NOT OVER PRICED

So today I was in conversation with a girlfriend of mine. Whenever I am in need of a fashion overhaul, she is my go to person, she is kind of my personal stylist. This girl knows the ins and outs of fashion and is great when it comes to finding amazing deals, but lately she has not been impressed with what has been out there on the market. We are always in search of fabulous dresses since we are active church goers. These days you are going to have to spend a little more if you want to look fab. So here I am going down 5th Ave and other places as well and yes I am doing it online. Tell me what you think.

SAKS FIFTH AVE- ABS Belted Silk Halter Dress- Was $250 now $119.99

Find At: http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306418048&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446415785&R=843749138319&P_name=ABS&N=1553+306418048+1536&ASSORTMENT%3C%3East_id=1408474395222441&bmUID=joM7Rwt
  

ASOS- ASOS Tulip Dress in Texture - Was $62.67 now $55.51

This one is from my beloved ASOS website. Absolutely love this site. Find At: http://us.asos.com/ASOS-Tulip-Dress-In-Texture/x8k2j/?iid=1833063&cid=5235&sh=0&pge=3&pgesize=20&sort=-1&clr=Raspberry&mporgp=L0FTT1MvQVNPUy1UdWxpcC1EcmVzcy1Jbi1UZXh0dXJlL1Byb2Qv

 BLOOMINGDALE'S- Calvin Klein Petites' Mixed Media Dress $129.50 - I absolutely love this dress. Find At: http://www1.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/calvin-klein-petites-mixed-media-dress?ID=599328&CategoryID=17378#fn=PETITES_TYPE_M%3DDress%26spp%3D5%26ppp%3D96%26sp%3D1%26rid%3D52